and then she snapped: a shitty flashback friday

a shitty flashback friday

(photo by Clare)

It was four years ago today that my brother died. Not a day goes by that I don't wish he was still here, or even more so, that I spent more time with him while he was here.

The last time I saw him was at least a couple of months before he died. Months! Because I was too busy, I guess? And that makes me sad. Don't be too busy to spend time with those you love, because you never know when you won't have the option anymore. In his almost 25 years here on earth we have maybe 10 pictures together, and only maybe 2 of those were taken when we were adults. That makes me sad too.

I wish I had more in common with Pete. He was a super fun, free spirited person. You would be hard pressed to name even one person who met Pete who didn't call him a friend. I'm glad that over the years I've grown to call some of these people my friends too.

I do see Pete everyday...in Camden. Camden's enthusiasm for life...his inability to SIT STILL...and the way he gets excited about everything. That was one hundred per cent Pete.

"Punk Rock Pete" was a serious punk rocker. I'm not punk rock at all, (have you met me?) I wear cardigans and flats and on the rare occasion that I am out past dark you will surely catch me yawning and glancing at my watch, but listening to NoFX reminds me of Pete, and that makes me smile.





23 comments:

  1. I love that we get to see a glimpse of your baby brother in our favorite squirrely friend Camden. Thinking of you and Clare today. Love you, Rach.

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  2. It's great that you see Pete in Camden. It must be a tad painful at times too? I just realized that even though I religiously read your blog, I never comment. I will try and be better. :)

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  3. This was a wonderful tribute to your brother and a great reminder to us all that we need to say, "I love you today, because we might not have tomorrow" I am sending hugs your way today...

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  4. I'm so sorry you lost your brother. It just stinks!!! Even though we don't know each other I'm sending you hugs and a warm smile in hopes it helps make the day just a tiny bit better. and seeing your brother in your son. . .very cool! I'm happy for you about that. sigh. . .

    xoxo, lisa

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  5. I am so sorry about your brother. What a great testament to how important photos really are!

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  6. Sending hugs to you Rachel. I know how hard it is to lose a brother, I think of mine often and see so much of him in his kids.
    Pete was a good kid, I didn't know him well but I do remember he always greeted me with a big hug and smile whenever we did meet. Pretty cool for a young kid to do that to an old lady like me!! Keep those sweet dreams always in your heart. Love you!

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  7. Pete sounds like he was one RAD guy! So sorry for your loss Rachel. How amazing to see you brother in your sweet boy though.

    Thinking of you today. XO)

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  8. I really appreciate this post today, Rachel. I love your words. I love the photo. Thinking of you today.

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  9. I hate that fact that we don't think those pictures we take really do matter and we don't ever think to get enough of them.
    I feel the same with a friend I had lost.

    I'm glad that Camden has a little piece of your brother. That's what makes it truly special.

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  10. Thinking of you... and I just called my brother.

    My brother who I barely talk to and who drives me nuts. But who I love. He didn't answer - but I am going to call back.

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  11. These days are always the hardest. I'll say a prayer for you today, and give my own brother a big hug.

    ~Tiffany
    http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

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  12. Love you Rach! Praying for you today, and I'm so glad that you are willing to share.

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  13. I called my brother too... So sorry for you. God bless you
    xo
    Sparkle

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  14. Love you and lots of ((HUGS))....xoxo

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  15. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind reminder to be thankful for the blessings in our lives and to appreciate each moment no matter the size.

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  16. I'm very sorry that you lost your brother. Sending you positive thoughts, prayers and a smile.

    Mary

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  17. I read your post and I thought about how we each have our own lives. Different backgrounds, cultures and colors. Yet, underneath it all we all feel the same way when it comes to loosing someone we love. So sorry for the loss of your brother. We've experienced a few deaths recently in our extended families and friends and it's heart-wrenching.

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  18. xox Big hugs to you, Rachel. May God comfort you.

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  19. There is so much of my brother in my son...more and more the older he's gotten. I'm glad you have that. My brother is far away (Hawaii) but I still have him. I can't imagine that loss ~ it's hard enough to miss him. Hugs to you.

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  20. Oh gosh. I'm so sorry.

    Nothing replaces him. But it is a small comfort to see pieces of him in your children.

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