and then she snapped: Seriously Sucky Monday

Seriously Sucky Monday

So last night around 2:30 in the morning, Chris and I wore woken (awoken?) by a "bump in the night". We both listened and then heard the plink of the piano. Just one solitary note. If we hadn't BOTH heard it, I'm pretty sure we would've thought we'd imagined it. I said, "Camden must be sleepwalking again, go check" (because you know women have to birth the babies, men have to investigate noises in the dark). Chris headed out to our hallway and peered over to Camden's room, but his door was still shut. He looked over the railing, downstairs, concerned that he didn't have some kind of weapon to take with him. (Note to self: we should get some kind of weapon up here). He stood at the top of the stairs for a while, listening...said then he thought he heard something in the garage. He finally went downstairs to go investigate, grabbed a candlestick holder off the piano (made of plastic, but he didn't know that at the time), looked in closets, in each room downstairs, and finally in the garage. But nothing out of the ordinary. The entire time I was sitting anxiously in my bed, hand on the phone, ready to call 911. He came back to bed, and we chalked it up to ghosts (yes, we watched too much American Horror Story). Or, you know maybe the wind somehow caused one of the piano books to fall on the piano keys.

If only we were so lucky. No, we had houseguests. And not the kind that we invited, and looked forward to serving brunch to the next morning. The big fat hairy black kind.

So this morning Chris comes upstairs after working out,  and says, "Rachel, I need to talk to you about something, away from the kids", He looked pretty serious, I'm imagining the worst, so I left Camden snoring sleeping in my bed and followed Chris into our bathroom and he says, "So I just saw a huge black rat in our garage, it jumped from the shelving up to the ductwork and into a hole in the ceiling. Oh, and there are rat turds all over downstairs" (I used those quotes loosely, I don't think he actually said turds).

Apparently I was NOT imagining the worst.

You should have seen my mouth. Hit the floor.

Seriously. I am NOT a terrible housekeeper. I should NOT have rats IN MY FRICKING HOUSE.

I called the exterminator first thing in the morning, and they came out within a couple hours. They said it would cost $300 for the initial inspection and 3 follow up visits to empty the traps. (They could have told me it would cost $1,000...I would have paid it). I understand how rodents can get in the garage, or in the crawlspace...I just wanted to know how they were getting INSIDE MY HOUSE! So the pest guy said that ours was getting in (and out) under the door between the garage and the mudroom. You couldn't really SEE a hole there, but the weatherstripping was worn down so that you could shove a pen through the corner. The guy told me that they only have to be able to fit their jaw through and the rest just follows. Excuse me while I go vomit.

Speaking of vomit, I spent all day not knowing whether I should cry, or vomit, or both. I am emotionally exhausted. And I have a horrible headache. I blame it all on that damn rat. In other news, I swept and vacuumed the hell out of these floors today, so that if there's even a speck of shit anything on them I am going to see it.

So anyway, in addition to cleaning the floors today, I replaced the weather stripping on the mudroom door and it is so snug that we can barely even close the door all the way, so ain't nothin' gettin' through that. We've got traps all over the place...3 IN the house which sure as hell better not catch anything now that I've got my new and improved weather stripping up, 3 or 4 in the garage...those are the ones I'm gonna be Chris is going to be checking, and some in our crawl space (underneath the house). There are some issues in our foundation vents where we need to replace the screens, and some gaps in the garage door that we need to patch...but seriously at this point (as in today), I am concerned with keeping them OUT of my house.

So that was my day. It sucked. I guess if I have to be thankful for something it would be that I'm thankful there wasn't a human breaking into our house to kill us after he played a little minuet. But I think I totally would have preferred the ghosts over the rodent.


29 comments:

  1. I'm shuddering because I think I might lose my schmidt if I heard a piano key play in my dark house. Just got chills!

    I hope your rodent problem is solved for good now! Ugh.

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  2. EEEK! I know where I'm going tomorrow...Home Depot for some weather striping! I know there is a spot on our walk out basement door that is larger than a size of a pen. OMG! How will I sleep now?!

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  3. I once had mice get inside my car through the engine. THAT was horrifying, but can't even imagine rats. Ughh. That jaw fact just creeps me out.

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  4. Oh God! I can't stand rats! They are the worst! Ewwww. And... I've been to your house. Its clean as a whistle.

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  5. Ack!! And I was freaked/grossed out by the mouse parties happening in my kitchen drawers.

    Rats are worse.

    Bastards.

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  6. Oh I know exactly the feeling! We had a mouse that was coming in through our dryer vent and I was so skeeved out. I am sure all of your precautions will catch the nasty little sucker!

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  7. Wow, that's a crazy day! I thought it would be burglars! I was scared. rats are gross, though. And I don't think they just go where it's dirty. They go where they can find a safe place to sleep and a place where they can find food (any house is a possibility). I hope the rest of your week goes better!

    ~Lisha

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  8. ZOMG! I almost died when I saw a mouse in my apartment a few years ago. Needless to say, I moved out a week later. Homie don't play that!

    I hope it all gets resolved quickly Rach! That's HORRID!!

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  9. Ish. Why does the rest of the disgusting, fat body follow the jaw? Such a fact I did not need to know.

    Hugs to you friend, you're getting it taken care of!

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  10. YEEEEE! SO gross. I feel so bad for you. I don't think I would get a wink of sleep. Actually, I grew up with mice in our house (we lived in an old farm house). And i had to sleep with a fan on so I couldn't hear them scratching around in the walls. So gross. I hate rodents. Like, HATE THEM.

    And then one summer I was a camp counselor in the mountains and there were like, thousands of mice there. I set like 6 snap traps a night in our cabin and every morning they'd be full. They called me the mouse slayer. That's how much I hate them.

    Anyways. I hope that effing rat gets caught and squeaks to his friends as a warning to get the hell out.

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  11. I am sorry, that really sucks!

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  12. OH yuck! When I lived with my parents, 2 mice got into my very messy bedroom. I was almost afraid to clean and tidy incase I came across them, but what else could I do? That was one way to get a teenager to clean their bedroom I suppose. Both mice were caught and thank goodness there was no more, but I remember being freaked out for weeks afterwards sleeping in my room.

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  13. Oh icky, icky, icky..... the 'just fitting their jaw through' bit covered me with chills :(

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  14. I spit up a little in my mouth when I read this...empathy vomit. Ewww. Tomorrow will be better, really, Rachel!

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  15. Panic ye not!

    First off:

    Full marks to your excellent housekeeping: RATS LIKE IT CLEAN.
    So it's an endorsement of your skills as a housewife.
    Fat lot of good that does you, I'm sure.

    Are you sure that rats are not done for free by your local council?
    And what about rat poison, at least in your attic and garage? more efficient than traps. That is an outrageous charge even for getting rid of a musically gifted rodent.

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  16. First of all, I HATE noises in the dark, and damn right it is the mans job to to inspect!!!!Second of all, Ewwww!!! I am so sorry that you had to deal with that...I am vomiting right there with you! We've had the about 3 bats in our house in the last 6 years (which is awful too), and I hate that feeling of having unwelcome houseguests!!!!

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  17. oh my gosh, yuckkkk!! you poor things!!! that is awful! I live in Amsterdam and mice are really common to have here. I remember when I heard that for the first time I FREAKED. I didn't understand how everyone was so calm about the fact that mice come in their houses and eat their food and crawl around! but rats... that's even worse!!

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  18. We had that happen to us a couple years ago...totally disgusting, we figured out where they were coming from and pretty much sealed up anything from the outside to the inside! One of the grossest things, isn't it?!

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  19. Oh, yikes! Hope they catch them all!

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  20. Oh crap!! I would have freaked too. We had little mice after we cleared a bunch of brush behind our garage... but big guys! Oh man. Get emm!

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  21. Yikes!! sounds like a hectic day.. Hope your tuesday is a bit better

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  22. Why does it have to be the abundantly procreative creatures that always find their way in??? :P gak. Rats also chew their way into anything and everything :( Hope you catch'em all (just like Pokemon) and they never come near again. Worse luck, me: my husband keeps wanting a rat for a pet. Guess what I said? Yes, it involved threats of the cast iron fry pan...

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  23. creepiest of creepy things on the planet. so so sorry.

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  24. Holy craption! I would have peed my pants! Uggg... rats are just so gross. We've had problems w/ field mice in our garage. The sucky thing is (unlike rats) they are actually super cute. I feel a tad bit (killing) trapping them, but those suckers are not coming inside! Gosh, I feel for ya mama. Hope you never see/hear those buggers again!!


    Oh btw, Guess who is FREAKN finally getting a big girl camera! Yep, this girl! I've been waiting on it so I can show off your adorable camera strap! Should be getting it in a few days! Xo

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  25. Oh, no! That is totally yucky, but I believe you when you say that you keep a clean house. Hope they get rid of all of them ASAP for you!!

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  26. EEEEEWWWW!

    Our most recent uninvited guests have been scorpions, but at least they don't carry diseases (I don't think so anyway). So glad you were able to get the pest guy in to take care of things!

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  27. One word: Eew. I don't do rodents, so I completely understand how you're feeling. I have to admit, my skin was crawling and I was dry heaving the entire time I read your post...

    I hope those rats leave you alone pronto!!!

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  28. Ick! I remember reading that rodents can squeeze through the tiniest places. Places you'd never expect them to be able to squeeze through. I have no idea where I read that or why I remember. :) I hope you get it soon! I'm sure it's not a cute little rat like Remi in Ratatouille. :)

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  29. Yuck yuck yuck! I hope the nasty things stay out of your house now!!!

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